graduation

Last Sunday, I graduated, three years exactly since the day we found out I was carrying a boy. It was a perfect day, the best possible ending to my time as a law student.

The day itself was glorious: sunny weather, not a cloud in the sky. After I woke up I took Nathaniel to the park on his tricycle, hoping to encourage an early nap before the graduation.

As we walked through the park I noticed teams of what I immediately identified as my people (software engineers, undoubtedly) running around the park. They were obviously on a treasure hunt. Suddenly I saw a friend, A., a former co-worker from my software engineering days, and I realized that we were inadvertent observers of a Game. I gave him a hug. "Hey, T.," he asked, "are you a lawyer yet?"

"I graduate today!"

"Congratulations!" he replied. "When do you take the bar?"

"Oh, it's in July. But I'm not thinking about it yet!" Sunday was for law school alone. The bar looms large, but not yet.

We said our goodbyes -- he had a team waiting for him, I had an impatient Nathaniel -- and went our separate ways. A few hours later, Nathaniel down for an early afternoon nap under protest, I slipped out of the house, cap and gown over my arm.

The graduation wasn't held at my school, as it lacks the facilities to accommodate over four hundred graduates and their families. Instead it was held at the cavernous Masonic Center. My sister's dental school graduation was at the Masonic Center, as was my mother's citizenship ceremony. Our family is well-acquainted with marking milestones there.

Downstairs my adopted 3L class milled about, waiting for the ceremony to start. I found the law review group, the people who turned a class in which I didn't know anybody into a class of friends. We wanted to march in together.

As we stood there, joking and reminiscing, I heard my name called. "T! T! I've been looking for you!"

It was J., a fellow member of my original section 3 and the only other 4L graduating that day. She and I were pregnant together during 1L year. J.'s son was born three weeks before Nathaniel. Her daughter was born fourteen months later. J. and I rarely got to see each other for more than a few hurried minutes at a time, but we'd been companions through both law school and motherhood, and more than anybody, I wanted to walk in with her. I gave her a hug. "We did it!"

Eventually we heard the triumphant strains of our entry march. J. and my other friends from law review fell into line. As I marched in, I waved to my family in the balcony and heard Nathaniel, his voice carrying above the crowd, excitedly pointing me out to my mother. "Dere Mama, Gramma! I see Mama! Mama!"

The ceremony itself was lovely, one of the nicest graduations I've ever attended, which, given the number of kids in my family, is a lot. The speakers were funny, self-deprecating, and blessedly short. My mother  later commented that it was the only graduation she'd ever attended where she felt warmth towards the school just by virtue of the speakers alone. I agreed with her. The speakers reminded me of how I loved law school, as hard as it was at times, and while I do feel I've wrung everything out of it intellectually that I'm going to get, I'm going to miss it.

Eventually it was time for the conferring of the degrees. With four hundred graduates, the organizers kept us strictly organized. My  husband, however, had a plan to follow that he'd been envisioning since before Nathaniel was born.

When my row got up to the stage, my husband slipped past the organizers with Nathaniel and handed him to me. My husband gave me a quick kiss. "Good luck, graduate. I'm so proud of you!" Then he stood back to watch us cross the stage together, his vision, something he worked for as much as I did, now complete.

The next minutes passed in a blur.

I climbed the stairs to the stage, hearing a warm sigh from the audience as they saw Nathaniel in my arms, dapper in his guayabera shirt and khaki pants. When I got to the stage, one of the professors hooding graduates whispered to me. "Go over to Professor C.! She wants to hood you!"

Professor C. is respected tenured professor, the mother of three boys, and while she never taught me, she knows me. She's bubbly and energetic, a relentless cheerleader for student parents. Her boys are all well over six feet now, in college and high school, and she's very positive about her family life and her career. It's nice to talk with her, somebody on the other end of this journey, who looks back with pride and joy at what she's accomplished.

I walked over to Professor C., grinned, and whispered, "This is Nathaniel!" He smiled shyly at her.

She smiled broadly at me and whispered back, "Congratulations! You did it! Are you ready?" I nodded and leaned forward, and she slipped the heavy velvet hood over my head. She leaned forward again, and whispered. "I have a surprise!"

Putting her hand gently on Nathaniel's back, she reached over and hooded him too with his own hood. The hood, taller than him, fell down over him like a sash.  Nathaniel looked at me quizzically and then smiled as Prof. C. grinned at him. To my left I heard the auditorium roar in approval. "Go on," Prof. C. said proudly, "it's your turn to walk across the stage."

Prof. Contracts, who has known me since 1L year, read the names of the graduates. I leaned over to him as I passed Prof. C. "This is Nathaniel!" He grinned back at me. As I crossed the stage, I heard him announce "T, and her son, Nathaniel!"

I exulted, grinning wildly. Nathaniel and I waved at the crowd, blinded by the lights but able to hear their enthusiastic and loud response. It was a perfect moment, and one I don't think I'll ever forget: crossing the stage with Nathaniel in my arms, law school and family merged into one indelible moment. I know I was up there for only a few seconds, but it seemed like a long time to me, as I basked in the approval and warmth of the crowd, Nathaniel's arm around my shoulder, his blond hair shimmering under the bright lights of the stage.

I shook hands with the Dean, who also patted Nathaniel on the back, and then it was over.

The rest of the ceremony passed quickly. We didn't stay long at the reception, as Nathaniel was worn out and the crowds were overwhelming. Besides which, we had our own party planned.

Back home, we threw open all the doors and windows and put on dancing music. Over the next few hours dear friends and family trickled in to celebrate with us. My parents and siblings were there, including my new niece, now eight weeks old and clearly fascinated with her older cousin, Nathaniel. There were friends from high school through law school, friends I worked from my engineering days, friends who drove nearly two hours on a Sunday night to join the party. It was a perfect ending to a perfect graduation day, all of us celebrating, the adults sitting in the garden with wine, margaritas and delicious food, kids running around amok gleefully. We finally but regretfully said goodbye our last guests after midnight, exhausted but tremendously happy: we did it!

Comments

[Frolics and Detours]

What a sweet story! Many congrats! I wish I could have gotten through law school as easily as Nathaniel did :)

[Lise]

Congrats! That is really awesome that you took your son with you on the stage! The miniature hood just makes it even more memorable. I hope you got some great photos.

[PT-LawMom]

Wow. That totally made me cry. What an exciting day for your family!

[Kim]

Congratulations! Like PT-LawMom, this story made me cry. :)

[stare decisis]

Aw, the little hood for Nathaniel is what got me. Happy graduation!

[cate]

That sounds really lovely. Congratulations!

[EG]

I cried too reading the story. Congratulations you AND your fabulous family!

[Denise]

What a *wonderful* recount of your graduation. Can it really be? 3 years already?

Congratulations, T.

HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!